Stupid Criminals Caught Wearing Permanent Marker Disguise

Posted By Ben Goulding, 30 October, 2009 | permalink

black-marker-faces

When God was handing out brains, these guys were definitely at the end of the queue. They came up with the idea of scribbling on their faces with permanent marker to protect their identities when they tried to rob a man’s house in Carroll, Iowa.

Police received a call Friday night that two men with hooded sweatshirts and painted faces had tried to break into a man’s home in Carroll, Iowa.
When police stopped a vehicle matching the caller’s description blocks away, they were stunned by the men’s disguises.
There were no ski masks or stockings pulled over their heads; instead, Matthew Allan McNelly, 23, and Joey Lee Miller, 20, streaked their faces with permanent black marker.

Link

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Cassetteboy vs Nick Griffin vs Question Time

Posted By Ben Goulding, 23 October, 2009 | permalink


(Youtube Link)

Cassetteboy does Nick Griffin on Question Time. Let’s have a look at what he should have said…

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Giant Seagull Invades Australian News Bulletin

Posted By Ben Goulding, 22 October, 2009 | permalink


(Youtube Link)

Peter Hitchener, a news anchorman, remains unflappable when a ‘giant’ seagull walks behind him during a bulletin in Australia.

The timing could not have been worse as Hitchener was trying read a story about organised crime in the city.

“I was reading away and it was a serious story, and I suddenly thought ‘Oh my gosh, that seagull’s back again’, because we had a bit of a problem last night,” Hitchener told a radio station afterwards.

He explained that the seagull had appeared moments before the programme went on air, alarming the producers.

“About 50 seconds to six o’clock this seagull arrived and started pecking at the camera and it had the beadiest huge eyes you’ve ever seen in your life.”

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Cristiano Ronaldo Sings… Badly

Posted By Ben Goulding, 22 October, 2009 | permalink


(Youtube Link)

Here’s soccer star Cristiano Ronaldo, singing a 19th century Cuban Bolero ballad called Amor Mío — translated in English as My Love — for a television advert for Portuguese bank Banco Espírito Santo.

Unfortunately for him, the recording got leaked onto the internet and now everyone knows he’s about as cheesy as he is wealthy, and as tone-deaf as, well, something that’s tone deaf.

Maybe stick to the soccer, Ronnie. You’re better at that.

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Parody of the Pixar Film Intro

Posted By Ben Goulding, 20 October, 2009 | permalink

Beware of homicidal lamps … although you’ve got to feel a tiny bit sorry for ‘him’ at the end. Who doesn’t love lamp?

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Balloon Boy Song

Posted By Ben Goulding, 20 October, 2009 | permalink


(Youtube Link)

Balloon Boy Song. (Some strong language).

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Top 5 Scary Wake Up Pranks

Posted By Ben Goulding, 19 October, 2009 | permalink


(Youtube Link)

These are the top 5 wake up pranks from break.com. All these poor fools are terrified out of peaceful dream states with the rudest of awakenings. So funny.

2 Comments | Posted in: Entertainment | Internet
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Google Street View Guys

Posted By Ben Goulding, 16 October, 2009 | permalink

A funny video from College Humor about the Google Street View guys. The Google guys drive around in the Google vehicle taking shots of every street in the world. They should make this a series.

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‘Why Does Everyone Hate You?’ [Barack Obama]

Posted By Ben Goulding, 16 October, 2009 | permalink

Barack Obama’s gets asked a tough question at a town hall meeting in New Orleans on Thursday. Fourth-grader, Tyren Scott asked the President ‘Why does everyone hate you?’. Hear what he had to say.


(Youtube Link)

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Things That Should Be Kept Out Of Reach Of Children (Venn Diagram)

Posted By Ben Goulding, 16 October, 2009 | permalink

timely venn diagram

It’s true, oh, it’s true.

Link Via Buzzfeed

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Terrifying Sniper Prank on Japanese TV

Posted By Ben Goulding, 15 October, 2009 | permalink


(Youtube Link)

This is incredibly harsh, but at the same time you can’t help but laugh.

A Japanese hidden camera show called ‘Panic Face King’ goes extreme on this poor guy, luring him into a fake meeting in which everyone is killed by a sniper except for him. He is definitely the panic face king.

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Man High Fives People Hailing Cabs In NY [Funny]

Posted By Ben Goulding, 14 October, 2009 | permalink


(Youtube Link)

Nathaniel Kassel is a genius. He simply rides his bicycle along the streets of New York City and high fives everyone that’s hailing a cab. He put a smile on the faces of many, a confused look on others, and a frown on a few. It’s all in a days work for Nathaniel. Good job!

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Yobs Get A Huge Surprise When They Pick A Fight With A Couple Of Cross-Dressers

Posted By Ben Goulding, 9 October, 2009 | permalink


(Youtube Link)

These yobs got a huge surprise when they picked a fight with a couple of cross-dressers in Swansea, Wales, who turned out to be cage fighters.

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Rare Parrot Shows Cameraman’s Head Some Loving

Posted By Ben Goulding, 2 October, 2009 | permalink


(Youtube Link)

Stephen Fry and zoologist Mark Carwardine head to the ends of the earth in search of animals on the edge of extinction. This rare parrot needs some loving and he’s very fond of them. Cringe!

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The Best Yahoo Answers Response Ever

Posted By Ben Goulding, 2 October, 2009 | permalink

funny yahoo answer

That is all.

Via

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Choking The Chicken Halloween Costume

Posted By Ben Goulding, 1 October, 2009 | permalink

choking-chicken-costume

It’s coming up to Halloween, and we all want that perfect costume…Well this is the coolest one I’ve seen so far – the choking chicken.

Link

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Bacon Shoes

Posted By Ben Goulding, 30 September, 2009 | permalink

bacon-shoes

These bacon shoes look good enough to eat, and I’m sure you’d be getting a fair share of dogs (and people) wanting to do just that.

Nothin’ tastier in the morning then to slip on a nice pair of bacon shoes and go about your day. As someone who loves the meaty stuff, this is the perfect way to avoid all that grease and and keep your feet looking crisp and scrumptious all day. I have bacon bandages, bacon scarves, designer bacon everything, but the printing is so cheap on most of it it just looks like pink and red wavy stripes. But on these Keds it actually looks like the real thing.

Link

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It’s Ask A Stupid Question Day

Posted By Ben Goulding, 28 September, 2009 | permalink

ask a stupid question day. Image: fostercityblogToday is Ask A Stupid Question Day. It’s an event which began in America in the 1980’s which gives students the opportunity ask their teachers the daftest questions their brains can conjure up.

To mark the event, the Telegraph have compiled a list of the silliest questions as asked by users of the Any Questions Answered (AQA) text service.

Q: What’s the opposite of a camel?
A: The opposite of a camel is a soap dish: it has dimples instead of humps and lives in a mostly moist area.

Q: How long would it take to roast a fully grown Indian elephant?
A: An Indian elephant, average weight 5000kg, would take 2916 hours and 40 minutes to roast to perfection (based on 35 minutes a kilogram). You would need an extremely large serving dish.

Q: In Mars Bars, how much taller is Jeremy Clarkson than Tom Cruise?
A: A Mars bar is four inches long. Jeremy Clarkson measures 19.25 Mars Bars (six feet five), while Tom Cruise is 16.75 Mars bars high (five feet seven). That’s a 2.5 Mars bar difference.

Q: How long would it take a snail to slide around the world?
A: 34,519 days at 0.7 miles a day or 0.03 miles per hour, the average speed for a garden snail.

Q: What’s the funniest word in the world?
A: The funniest word in the English language is fartlek (an athletic training regime); other funny words include furphy, pratfall, parp and firkin.

Q: What is the best type of biscuit to make a mattress from?
A: The best type of biscuits to make a mattress from would be fig rolls or strawberry Newtons. They would be soft, but still provide some back support.

Q: I want to write a film script which makes me millions: what should it be about?
A: Based on the top-grossing films, your script should be about a young wizard and a robot looking for a ring on a pirate ship which sinks. Good luck.

Q: In an average lifetime, how much gas will a human expel?
A: The average adult has 14 occurrences of flatulence per day. Total expulsion is about 538ml, making approximately 14,727 litres of gas expelled in a life time.

Q: How long is a piece of string?
A: A piece of string is twice as long as half its length. It is usually shorter than the amount you need to wrap a parcel, but always long enough to tangle.

Q: When will I die?
A: You will die in a freak parachuting accident aged 98. Your memorial service, attended by more than 1,000 of your closest friends, will be at Wembley.

What’s the most stupid question you’ve ever been asked, or want to ask someone? As for me, I’ve always wondered how much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? Leave a comment telling us below.

Link

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30 Best Onscreen Newsreader Bloopers and Fails

Posted By Ben Goulding, 22 September, 2009 | permalink

The Telegraph has a great collection of ‘the 30 most baffling onscreen errors’, which I highly recommend you check out if you’re due a cheer up.

Here are a couple of my favorites:


(Youtube Link)


(Youtube Link)

For the rest of the list, click the link.

Link

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International Talk Like A Pirate Day Today, Arghh!

Posted By Ben Goulding, 19 September, 2009 | permalink

Pirates

Ahoy, me hearties – the time has come once again, to celebrate ‘international talk like a pirate day’, for no reason what-so-ever, other than it be fantastic, me buckos.

International Talk Like a Pirate Day is a parodic holiday created in 1995 by John Baur (Ol’ Chumbucket) and Mark Summers (Cap’n Slappy), of Albany, Oregon, who proclaimed September 19 each year as the day when everyone in the world should talk like a pirate.


(Youtube Link)

If you’re on the web, change your Facebook language to pirate (instructions), tweet in pirate (instructions) and even search in pirate with Google Pirate.

If you meet someone in the street, talk to someone on the phone, send an email, or even send a text, make sure you acknowledge talk like a pirate day, and celebrate it’s tradition with pride!

Not sure how to talk pirate? Here’s a quick guide to make sure you get it right.


(Youtube Link)

Alternatively, take a look at some tips and basic pirate vocab at TalkLikeAPirate, which includes some pick up lines for the lady pirates and even advanced pirate lingo, if you’re ready to move beyond “Aarrr” and such.

Now go forth and multiply me hearties, and let us know how you’ll be celebrating TLAPD.

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